Well I've given up again. I did all the rehab to fix my upper hamstring tendonopathy which was caused by the bulged disc in my back. Then as soon as I started trying to run again...within 4 minutes my knee would start hurting so bad that I had to walk. After 2 weeks of fighting that and starting over again with the patellar tendonitis exercises I have had enough. I quit!
I did a 2 hour bicycle ride the other day with no knee pain. I needed to get out and do something. Now that I've decided I'll just bike for a while we're stuck in a horrible cold snap here in the Northeast with tons of snow. So instead...I read.
Here are a few interesting articles I've been reading about stimulation. In this first article the author tells the story, using a comic, of how we have caused our sources of stimuli to evolve, without our biological ability to evolve our instincts or willpower to match them.
"Tinbergen succeeded in isolating the traits that triggered certain instincts, and then made an interesting discovery. The instincts had no bounds. Instead of stopping at a 'sweet spot', the instinctive response would still be produced by unrealistic stimuli. Once the researchers isolated the instincts' trigger, they could create greatly exaggerated dummies which the animals would choose instead of a realistic alternative. Songbird parents would prefer to feed fake baby birds with mouths wider and redder than their real chicks, and the hatchlings themselves would ignore their own parents to beg fake beaks with more dramatic markings."
http://www.sparringmind.com/supernormal-stimuli/
The second is very much the same but talks about video games being the stimuli. It was written in 2007 after a gamer played World of Warcraft for 57 hours straight and died. He had strong willpower to overcome all the other instinctual urges to eat, sleep, etc. But could not overcome the artificial stimuli created by the video game.
http://lesswrong.com/lw/h3/superstimuli_and_the_collapse_of_western/
Anyways, I'm going to wait a week or two and then start completely over with a new set of doctors. New set of MRI's. I refuse to give up on running. But for now I need a break. I'm going to go ride my bicycle. If it turns out biking is all I can do I'll be fine with that. But I swear I still have a good marathon in me....and I know I could win a 50miler..... and, and, and.....
It is always horrible not to know what you can and can't do.......I have fought thru what has seemed to be insurmountable obstacles so many times thru these 38 running years, and in effect tried to quit a few times, but I just couldn't. I have become more patient with how to comeback as I have aged, but never go without lots of anxiety during the breakdowns. There is enough desire and anger in you, that I still feel there will be some special performances to come from you as a masters........
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