It's been a while since I posted so I thought I'd just get grumpy and get it done. I've had some things on my mind to post but the subjects I wanted to express were deserving of an outline and I just didn't want to do the work. I didn't want to put down something that wasn't coherent either so I did nothing. Plus I'm tired of the multiple blog thing. I figure fuck it. I'm writing how I feel. Deal with it or go away.
1) My dad is going to die soon. I haven't let it hit me all that much. I feel this anxiety building inside because I know I'll need to face it, face him, face my siblings, and I know it's going to be a real fiasco. My sister opened the disaster by flying home. She never went home for any weddings, my mom's chemo, brain tumor, hip replacement, or anything else. There's potential financial gain from a will so she had to go home all dramatic like she's there for everyone. She called me from his bedside and lectured me in front of the other siblings because I wasn't there for him, and them (and she was.....how darling).
2) I switched over to cycling and rode 240 miles in 4 rides. It was a bit obsessive. It was the last warm days and I had stuff on my mind. One of those evenings saw an altercation with an enraged motorist. Sometimes I just can't help myself but tickle people who can't control themselves. I like to poke and prod them. It's not healthy and I'm not sure why I like it so much. This particular fellow came to a stop sign at the same time as me on a road that ran parallel to the bike path. The cars across the path were stopped and he had nowhere to go...but insisted on pealing out and roaring up to the stopped cars blocking the path while looking me in the eye...just to be a dick. So I sprayed my sports drink through his open car window into his face. By the time he jumped from his car I was well on my way safely away and the dumbass threw his keys at me. It hurt like hell but I caught them. Taunted him appropriately with his keys....and rode off leaving him to ponder how he would now move his car off the road.....and get home.
3) Went to the doctor for my patella tendonitis and he basically told me what I already knew and is having my go to physical therapy. I've been online and looked high and low and have been doing all of those exercises but hopefully the PT doctor has some I should be doing and am not, or will find some I'm doing wrong or something....because it's not working and I'm starting to feel entirely too happy cycling myself silly. He did tell me to take a month completely away from anything that irritates the tendon. That sucks.
4) I've been a bit of a dating machine. I've had to resort to keeping a notebook with details about the girls because I'm a little out of control. So I guess I'm doing it Romneystyle with my binders full of women. I'm honest and fair with all of them. It seems that's what dating is nowadays. This constant swap where nobody wants to choose any so they choose all. It sucks, I feel like I"m the evenings entertainment and nothing more, so it begins to be difficult not to treat them like the evenings entertainment. I'm having fun but I want something real. I had a dream last night that Lyuda and I got back together. I miss her a lot.
5) This shooting deserves a post of it's own. I've stated my opinions on here. I think it was bad of me to stop. I think people need to rage against the situation. I silenced myself because I didn't want to sound like a zealous broken record. Humans are selfish creatures and capitalism rewards selfishness. Things like religion that teach altruistic behaviors, although flawed, have value. As we've swapped real religion with the "religion of progress" we've allowed the worst of human traits to thrive. I want things and laws limit my access to them so laws are bad.... There is no thought given in this egocentric worldview to consequences. I want car, but if everyone in the world drives a car traffic will suck. I want a gun but if everyone in the world has a gun crazy people will do bad shit. Nobody wants to give up anything even if it helps better society.
We also dismantle every social safety net. I don't use it so I don't want to pay for it has become the Republican creed. It's Socialist for rich people to help anyone. They'd rather everyone donate to causes they feel are important. Who thinks health care for crazies are important until their child dies at the hands of one? You end up with LiveStrong making millions and other less popular things getting nothing.
Within a week what I'm sure we'll see is some item, that Americans can buy....that will make them all feel better about it. After September 11th it was a flag decal for your car. For the Iraq war it was a nice yellow "Support our troops" ribbon. What sticker or what purchase will soothe your heartache this time. It'll be something and it'll catch like wildfire. 10% of the profit will go to Gun Control, or Mental Health programs. The rest will make some schmuck rich off your fear and guilt. There there....it's not how we inhabit our world that's the problem...it's them. It's THOSE people. Buy this and show your support and oh...buy THIS to protect yourself against THEM.
Every post I saw that said arm the teachers I made sure to post that once the teachers and everyone were armed we could do away with the cops because the world would be safe. It's like cashiers at the supermarket. Who needs cashiers....or cops...if everyone can just handle their own. Notice nobody has said anything about the fellow wearing body armor. So not only do all the teachers need weapons....they'll need body armor too. If everyone in the world was handed a tennis racquet soon enough you'd have all kinds of people with tennis racquet sized lumps on their skulls. Pass out guns to an entire population and see what you get...trust me.....the utopia you're envisioning would look strangely a LOT like Somalia.