Wednesday, November 21, 2012

grrrrr!!

Tried a week of running at the silly 180 cadence.  It feels fine for around 6:20 pace (which oddly enough is my marathon pace right now).  Anything slower it feels silly.  Still not convinced you need that cadence unless you're running fast.  Sure, maybe it's great practice for getting your hips ready for when you do run fast....but then....why not just run fast to prepare yourself to run fast.  Frustrated I guess.

I had a good week and then on my 6th day of running my knees hurt.  Maybe too much?  Not sure because I only totaled 28miles that week and I had been doing 35.  I went to physical therapy and came home to run and they felt worse.  Grrrrrr!!!!!

Got word yesterday that Mr. Anderson's systems have begun shutting down.  He's in hospice and it looks like the lights will go out any day now.  I got the call just as I was drifting off to sleep.  The first thing I thought of as I got off the phone was a bit odd, but I guess my whole life is a bit odd.  I laid there thinking about how sometimes he'd suddenly burst into song.  He'd go from quietly working on something or reading, to top of his lungs singing.  I remember breaking into a cold sweat, my movements frozen expecting a beating only to recognize one of the dozen or so songs he'd sing.  Then I thought how my entire existence with him had been like that.  A constant uneasiness.  Holding my breath waiting, trying to decode his every move to sense if his next action would be anger or something else.  I still remember every one of those silly songs he used to sing.  Thinking of them made me cry until I fell asleep.

I'm going to go ride my bike today.  I'm off work early and it's not all that cold.  I can't run and I need to do something.  I'll see what kind of things there are out there to be viewed from 2 wheels.



1 comment:

  1. Sorry you can't get this all sorted out. It is tough to artificially hold any specific cadence...it just is faster when you are running faster, and probably more like 165-70 when you are going easy. Just keep your stride short and your landing foot under you, and don't get too frustrated!

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